The Second Time Around…

I am eight weeks pregnant and I know I should be overwhelmed by joy, anticipation and wonder.

Instead, here I am, feeling sad and fretting about my ability to handle the next seven months – the next two years! You see, I’m pregnant – but it’s with the second baby! Of course we planned for this little one and of course I want this baby. It is just that being pregnant is so much more difficult to enjoy when you already have the responsibility of another baby. I hope it doesn’t sound too harsh when I put it this way!

I remember how I would lie down and sleep for hours a day during my first pregnancy. And when I was nauseous I could just hide away until it passed! But now I have little 15-month-old Alex: a significant responsibility! I cannot merely sleep when I want to (in fact he has started dropping a nap, now only sleeping one hour a day!) and whether I have the physical strength or not, I need to pick him up when he needs my love and attention. There’s no telling Alex that mommy has got to take a time-out.

I have been going on about what a responsibility I have towards Alex and how worried I am about getting in extra help, as that would then mean I am neglecting Alex, when my husband said something quite obvious that I didn’t really think about until that moment: ‘You know, you also have a responsibility towards that little one inside of you. And you are not doing him or her any good by carrying on like this – exhausted and emotional.’

So I guess it’s okay if I ask Bongi to help with Alex more often… or I’m not sure – is it?!

Perhaps it’s okay to give Alex just a little less of myself right now? It’s so hard to believe that this is indeed okay…

And what will I do once the second baby is here? How will I ever find the strength to give of myself to both?

 

Alex and Mommy

Alex and Mommy

 

 

Love,
Nicolette

2 Comments
  • susan
    Posted at 20:59h, 19 Jul Reply

    Hi nicolette! Jy hoef nie een omblike sleg te voel nie alex sal verstaan meer as wat jy dink. Ek het self 2 dogter en hulle is na mekaar my oudste een is 3 en my kleintjie is 2. En so 4 maande trug toe vind ek uit ek is wee swanger met my 3de kind, jy sal oor as genoed aan dag aan al 2 jou kinders gee dit kan ek jou verseker! Dis nie altyd maklik om swanger te wees en nog agter n kind aan te hardloop nie, onthou so dra die baba gebore is slaap hulle die meste van die tyd so jy sal genoeg andig aan alex gee terwyl baba rus en geniet jou swangerskap, sterkte vir jou, P.S. Wees geduldig

    • Nicolette
      Posted at 08:46h, 20 Jul Reply

      Ah! Baie dankie, Susan!

      Ek is so bly jy herhinner my daaraan om my swangerskap te geniet – ek is besig om soos n ‘sleepwalker’ deur hierdie swangerskap te gaan.

      Ek dink ek gaan sommer vandag n album koop vir die nuwe baba se sonar foto’s!

      Dankie, Susan***

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