22 Jul 9 Weeks!
This week I am nine weeks pregnant with number two!
Today I am feeling utterly exhausted again. I keep thinking – when will I have the time and energy to start enjoying my pregnancy – the way you often see people do in movies or in books? Even with Alex I imagined a time coming where I will be sitting on the beach rubbing my pregnant belly and talking with my little one, or doing yoga – deep in touch with my pregnancy and new baby. I imagined healthy eating and long peaceful walks etc., etc. – you get the ‘oh-so-blissful’ picture!
Do we ever find the time to have moments like these? Are these moments realistic? Is it attainable? I don’t know, but my first pregnancy really ‘flew by me’! And now, almost done with my first trimester, I am still envisioning having this kind of time with myself and ‘belly-baby’, but really… life is just too exhausting at the moment – I cannot imagine standing still and ‘taking in’ this pregnancy.
This morning I was so exhausted and nauseous that I slept till ten (after giving Alex his dry nappy, breakfast and cold medicine and giving him over to Bongi who is here today). Then I have been doing my writing work till now, after which I must shower, go to town for supper and washing powder, then be back for a house viewing and then go to gym (my antidepressant). When will I get the time to sit still with Alex? And the time to be in touch with baby number two?! By 7pm all I want to do is sleep! Poor hubby is getting the least attention of them all!
I have been reading Brian Draper’s book about spiritual intelligence and awakening – how we should stop and become aware of the moments around us, instead of continuing ‘sleep-walking’. I am definitely sleepwalking through my days! I just seem to be putting one foot in front of the next***